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[ EMI Toshiba; 2004]
Rating: 10.0

Traveling through space at 293.37246 million billion miles per hour, traveling past star systems and glowing golden suns, comes Radiohead's latest offering. Discovering a new Radiohead release is like staring into the eyes of Jesus Christ and feeling the eternal stream of love and awe that flows from Him. I might be so bold as to claim that Radiohead is the Jesus Christ of music; the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost combined into one small package featuring the limitless talent of Thom Yorke.

So how do I review such an inherently perfect, flawless recording? It would be unfair of me to simply state, "this CD is perfection in the literal sense of the word," as that would not give such a masterpiece the sufficient praise it deserves. Putting this disc into your stereo and listening to it is like having the saints pee liquid gold into your ears. A beautiful, flowing, melodic wall of sound embraces you like the mother you never had because she was a filthy whore.

Track 1, "Ale A Gator," opens up with a lush field of melodic vibraphones and marimbas trumpeting the arrival of Thom York's genius. A glassy string section envelopes the sound field and reminds me of the time I was doing heroin in the middle of Canterbury Park. Finally Yorke's angelic voice sweeps in, crooning the following incomprehensibly intelligent lyrics:

Ale A Gator, the world is your at your feet
With a gaping mouth and jagged teeth
Your eyes remind me of capitalism (the telephone is ringing)
And your love is love like loving eyes, I will be there for you

Ale A Gator
Ale A Gator
Dragging through your personal hell
Ale A Gator
Ale A Gator
Encrusted jewels and a kissing kill across your gentle forehead

Time for sleep
Time for sleep
Time for sleep
Time for sleep
Gentle Ale A Gator

Such raw, unrelenting beauty caressed my soul like fingertips running across my spine. The power, the genius, the immeasurable talent which escapes from this porous CD can easily overwhelm you without proper preparation. Teams of NASA scientists could spend hundreds of years attempting to discover the meaning behind Thom's words, but nobody is intelligent enough to properly do so except Thom himself and his alter-ego, Jesus Christ. Perhaps some day they will both do a duet together and we can finally see who's truly the Son of God.

As for tracks 2-9, I was unable to listen to them as I was so blown away by Radiohead's sheer power that I beat my CD player into pieces with a rake so it would never be defiled by another, inferior compact disc. I shall review the rest of the album once my dad flies back from the Hamptons and buys me a new SUV to play it in.

Current Music: Girls and Boys

Once again the journal goes friends only. comment to be added.

Current Mood: okayokay
Current Music: Policy Of Truth

Immediate opening available for passenger in old Volkswagen Jetta. Driver lives in Tukwila area, Applicant must be female between the ages of 16.75 and 22.
Applicant's appearance is not very important, as long as applicant falls somewhere between 5'0 and 6'4, 120 and 240 pounds, has decent bathing/grooming habits, and the ability to dress ones self in a non-terrible way
Applicant should have decent conversation skills and an IQ above 120
Applicant should not smoke.
Applicant should have an income
further questions should be directed to Paul Fillmore at AIM: Silverknifes

Current Music: Depeche Mode - Never Let Me Down Again

ChristinaLee20: Hey, did you get my e-mail?
Silver Knifes: no, my acount is expired.
ChristinaLee20: Oh.
ChristinaLee20: Well, Patsy called the main apartment manager and she said that it was taking so long because of the holidays....
ChristinaLee20: Your credit and backround check was fine, but I had to re-verify my income and with working at the bon, plus getting 300 a month from you put me over the income limit for low income housing.
ChristinaLee20: So, long story short, I can't have a roommate.
Silver Knifes: super
ChristinaLee20: sorry
Silver Knifes: already figured it was no-go by saturday.
ChristinaLee20: how
ChristinaLee20: I didn't know until like sunday
Silver Knifes: simply intuition.
ChristinaLee20: oh
Silver Knifes: and then i was sure once you sent me an e-mail
Silver Knifes: so it didn't really matter what you said in the e-mail, i knew it would read "no".
ChristinaLee20: have you found somewhere else?
Silver Knifes: negative.
ChristinaLee20: Well, I left at 8 this morning and I got home around 9:30. I just finished a two page paper for homework and I am pooped. Talk to you later?
Silver Knifes: sure
ChristinaLee20: night
ChristinaLee20 signed off at 10:56:24 PM.

Current Mood: disappointeddisappointed
Current Music: soul coughing - i miss the girl

I want my own television commercial like that chick who saved Christmas. I switched to a Macintosh from my old PC last week, because I wanted something that I could use right out of the box, without all the hassle of "learning" stuff. I mean who needs to know what "files" and "drivers" are, I don't need to know any of that stuff, I'm only using it to look at porn anyway!

I'm so happy that I found out how much easier the Mac makes my computing life. It's the AOL of the computer manufacturers, cause it makes it so simple that any moron can use one. Having a PC, and having to learn how to operate it properly, unfairly limits the amount of people that can access the information superhighway. Without Macs, online tech support people would be denied the joys of answering such questions as: "how do I get to espn.com?", "I can't save this file", and "I think I need a new internet."

So if that chick can get her own commercial, why not me? I've used my Macintosh to totally revolutionalize the way that I look at pictures of naked women. All I have to do is hold a bottle of hand lotion up to the screen and it automatically goes to my favorite porn site. If I get hungry while I'm looking at porn, I just say "pizza", and twenty minutes later the delivery guy shows up at my door. It even took care of that guy that was trying to serve me with child support papers, leaving me free to continue looking at porn.

Just give me a chance, I just want to show the world how much I love my Mac!

- Paul Fillmore: Mac User

Current Mood: bored
Current Music: Queens of the Stone Age - The Lost Art Of Keeping A Secret
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